Missing Him

Words just do not even begin to express how much I am missing Jason...
There is just something about the weather turning cooler and football season in full swing. This is Jason's favorite time of the year...maybe that is why I am missing him so much right now. Don't get me wrong, I always miss him, but lately it has just been harder. Its one of those things that just hit by surprise.
This morning the kids and I were outside playing enjoying the nice fall-like weather along with everyone else in the neighborhood. I found myself watching everyone...playing football with their child, putting out fall decorations, or riding bikes...it made me so sad...I gathered the kids up as fast as I could and got them in the house before I started crying. I am sure you think I must be weird and some probably even think I need medication, but please just know that I am not sitting here all day crying...it was just a moment. Just a moment when I was a little envious of the families around me. Its been 7 months and I am lonely, sad, and missing my husband...what more can I say???

Jason ~ I enjoyed watching the game with you today. Even if we are thousands of miles a part, it was so neat to experience something with you at the same time. I love you so much!

Army Family Day

Today was the Army Family Day for the reserve unit that Jason is in. To be honest, I had not decided until yesterday if we would even attend it or not. Most of reasons were selfish, but I decided that it was important to attend and show just how much we appreciated Jason, how much we love him, how much we miss him, and how very proud of him that we are. I convinced my friend Kim and her kids to go with us since Kim's husband is deployed as well. (Thank you Kim for letting me talk you into it!) It was not as hard as I thought it was going to be...except for the fact that only a few people even spoke to us. It was really awkward. People were basically staring holes through us. I kept thinking I had something on me with the way we were being looked at. I felt like we were being avoided like the plague...just an FYI...just because my husband is deployed does not mean something is wrong with me, talk to me...I need friends and conversation. Secondly, just because you talk to me does not mean that your husband will be sent "over there". Ok I will get off my soap box now. :)
The kids had a great time playing on the inflatable slide and jumping castle. My brother Jeremy was there as well (he and Jason are in the same reserve unit) so it was great to spend some time with him (and to have someone to talk to).

Jackson and me ~ Jackson did not want to stop sliding to take this picture :)

Lil Miss Madeline ~ she climbed up the slide and came down all by herself (this kid keeps me busy)

Can you tell that the kids really did not want to stop playing for another picture? :)

The Crow and Wade families

My little brother Jeremy

Uncle Jeremy with Jackson and Madeline

I know I have blogged before about my conversations with Jackson and how much he truly is a source of joy in my life (especially on difficult days) Last night I had to have the dreaded conversation with him about where we were going today. I needed to explain to him that we were going to an Army family day, but that daddy would not be there even though other soldiers would be. Here is the conversation...

Me: Jackson, when you get up in the morning we are going to an Army Family Day

Jackson: "0k mommy, will I get to play?"

Me: Yes you will buddy. Jackson there will be soldiers there and some may even wear a uniform like daddy does, but daddy will not be there. Do you understand?

Jackson: "yes mommy, daddy will not be there"

Me: Do you know where daddy is Jack?

Jackson: "yes mommy" (and he proceeded to tell me where his daddy is)

Me: Do you know why daddy is over there?

Jackson: "yes mommy, he is protecting our country"...Mommy

Me: yes Jack

Jackson: "I love my daddy a lot"

Ok I am crying again just replaying the conversation in my mind.

Jason ~ we love you so much and I am so glad that we were able to attend the family day today in your honor to let everyone know how very much we love you and how very proud of you that we are!

Jack's 1st day of pre-school...

I can not believe my little boy started pre-school today! He was so excited about going. Jackson got right up with no problem at all. He chose his "special" breakfast and got dressed all by himself. Of course I documented to whole event on digital camera and video camera :) The only time he complained this morning was because he thought he was going to ride the school bus. He went right in to his class and started playing. I was the one hanging around in the class...Jack came up to me to tell me to go home so he could play. ;) Oh he is such a big boy! I am so amazed that my little boy is big enough to go to pre-school. It seems he has just grown up so fast.

Jackson's "All About Me Poster" that he had to make for the 1st day of school. He chose pictures and stickers about himself :)

Jackson is all dressed and ready for his 1st day of school. He was so excited to carry the book bag his daddy sent specially for him!

Madeline gave Jackson the biggest hug and told him to have a good day. She is going to be so lost without her brother to aggravate.

Jackson and his teacher Mrs. Betsy.

Jason called Jackson as we were heading in to his class. It was so great. Jason was able to tell him to have a great day (Jack was so excited to talk to daddy!)