Friday, March 15, 2013
"If you are sufficient for your task, it's too small" John Piper
This quote was the first thing I read this morning....very fitting after the night I had.
The kids and I have been trucking along the last few months while J has been away at his school. I am working just about every day then our afternoons and evenings are busy with homework and activities - Jack is playing travel ball, Madi is in tumbling and cheer, and now I am the sponsor of the dance line at our high school. I love it all, but we are very busy. Busy is good sometimes because it makes the separation go faster-right? Busy is also not good too. I am finding myself very run down and tired. I shared with a friend the other day that I thought being a temporary single parent with an infant and toddler at home was tiring...boy was I wrong. Don't get me wrong, those times were tiring, but this is a different kind of tiring. Whew.... and eventually it catches up with you. Like last night. It caught up with all of us.
We just finished up our nightly routine. Jack was brushing his hair and I was bathing Madi. As I walked past Jack he had this incredibly sad look on his face. I gave him a hug and asked if he was ok. At that moment he bursted in to tears, which led to Madi breaking down. Before I knew it all 3 of us were in tears. When I finally got us all calmed down I asked Jack what was wrong. He said he wished his daddy could be home so he could watch him play baseball. He shared how hard it was for him to see that all his teammates had their daddy there, but his could not be there. Crush. My. Heart. What do you say to that? I assured him that daddy would love nothing more than to be there at his games. I reminded him that what daddy is doing right now is making him a better soldier and that he will be home with us in just a couple months.
We all eventually regrouped and was able to skype with J. I shared with him what was going on because he could tell we were all having a tough night. It was good for all of us, I think. We all fell asleep only to be awakened at midnight to poor Madi with the stomach virus. It has been a long night and I am not even sure this post makes sense, but I just wanted to share these moments so that I can look back and see how God's hands are in every single detail.
I am reminded DAILY of the sacrifices we make...it does not matter how many deployments or separations we have endured it does not get any easier. Do we adapt? You bet. Do we keep trucking along? Absolutely...because God's grace is sufficient every single day. Do I feel too small for the task? Without a doubt I sure do. But I know the One who supplies me with my strength. I know the One who carries us when we are all in tears. I know the One who orchestrated every moment of our lives and I trust in His plan and call on His strength to keep going in this task.
So, whatever your task maybe...if your feeling like your not sufficient for it, call on the One who will supply your every need.