Sufficient

"If you are sufficient for your task, it's too small"  John Piper

This quote was the first thing I read this morning....very fitting after the night I had.

The kids and I have been trucking along the last few months while J has been away at his school.  I am working just about every day then our afternoons and evenings are busy with homework and activities - Jack is playing travel ball, Madi is in tumbling and cheer, and now I am the sponsor of the dance line at our high school.  I love it all, but we are very busy.  Busy is good sometimes because it makes the separation go faster-right?  Busy is also not good too.  I am finding myself very run down and tired.  I shared with a friend the other day that I thought being a temporary single parent with an infant and toddler at home was tiring...boy was I wrong.  Don't get me wrong, those times were tiring, but this is a different kind of tiring.  Whew.... and eventually it catches up with you.  Like last night.  It caught up with all of us. 

We just finished up our nightly routine.  Jack was brushing his hair and I was bathing Madi.  As I walked past Jack he had this incredibly sad look on his face.  I gave him a hug and asked if he was ok.  At that moment he bursted in to tears, which led to Madi breaking down.  Before I knew it all 3 of us were in tears. When I finally got us all calmed down I asked Jack what was wrong.  He said he wished his daddy could be home so he could watch him play baseball.  He shared how hard it was for him to see that all his teammates had their daddy there, but his could not be there.  Crush.  My.  Heart.  What do you say to that?  I assured him that daddy would love nothing more than to be there at his games.  I reminded him that what daddy is doing right now is making him a better soldier and that he will be home with us in just a couple months. 

We all eventually regrouped and was able to skype with J.  I shared with him what was going on because he could tell we were all having a tough night.  It was good for all of us, I think. We all fell asleep only to be awakened at midnight to poor Madi with the stomach virus.  It has been a long night and I am not even sure this post makes sense, but I just wanted to share these moments so that I can look back and see how God's hands are in every single detail. 

I am reminded DAILY of the sacrifices we make...it does not matter how many deployments or separations we have endured it does not get any easier.  Do we adapt?  You bet.  Do we keep trucking along?  Absolutely...because God's grace is sufficient every single day. Do I feel too small for the task?  Without a doubt I sure do.  But I know the One who supplies me with my strength.  I know the One who carries us when we are all in tears.  I know the One who orchestrated every moment of our lives and I trust in His plan and call on His strength to keep going in this task. 

So, whatever your task maybe...if your feeling like your not sufficient for it, call on the One who will supply your every need.   

A Great Weekend

This past weekend was a great, long weekend. 

It was long because the kids had President's Day off for school.

It was a great weekend because Daddy got a 4 day pass and was able to come home! 

When we found out that J was getting a pass, we decided not to tell the kids so that we could surprise them.  It worked out that J was able to come home on Valentines Day so all I told the kids was they were getting a great surprise.  The only clues I gave the kids was 1. we had to pick up the surprise and 2. it was something they could play with.  Madeline guessed it was a puppy.  Jack guessed a swimming pool.  As the day got closer, I was about to burst to tell them the exciting news.  I did not tell them though.  I lasted until about an hour before it was time.  We stopped on the way to the airport to eat dinner and I told them then.  I made a video, but could not get the video to upload.  They were so excited!!!

Here are some pictures from the airport:

waiting on daddy's flight:

Spotted him and making a run for him:

Giving daddy a big ol hug:

Some very happy people:

 

Our weekend was busy as usual with baseball practice and basketball team party, but we did manage to have some fun time too.

The kids and J fit in a silly string fight:

and a hike through the woods. 

These 3 people, they have my heart!

We were sad to see daddy leave yesterday, but were so glad that he was able to come home. 

Now counting down the months until this school is over!

Have a blessed day!

Just Listen

Listen...listen to what?

Just listen....listen how?

Just listen intently....listen intently is what I keep hearing over and over....

My head seems unable to rest the last few months.  I am constantly thinking, planning, prioritizing, and worrying.  Yes, I admit it, I worry.  Too much.  I thought I had gotten better at my worrying - when in reality I had not.  Turns out my life was running fairly "smooth" therefore not much cause for worrying.  Then one day - boom - you know the "boom" feeling right?  Where you literally feel the weight of the world crashing down on and around you.  Well, that is where I have been the last couple few several months.  Let me tell you, it is not a fun place to be.  It is part of the reason I have not blogged much.  I just have not known what to share.  Stress and worry are not fun topics to blog about.  Stress and worry do not do positive things to me - and before long, it really affects me physically and emotionally.  Sometimes it seems lately that my head has been in overdrive with the planning and worrying - instead of listening.  As I look back through my prayer journals I see a lot of my thoughts, plans, ideas, worries, etc. but what I am not seeing is my listening.  My waiting patiently for His answer, on His plan. Yuck!  I do not like that.  I do not want it to be that way.  I do not want a prayer life where I just talk and plan instead of listen and waiting.  So that is where I am at today.  Listening and waiting.  It is hard.  Really hard.  Seems that we have hit another road block.  Seems that those ideas and plans I had have been cancelled.  I do not know what that is going to mean for my family.  Am I worried?  You bet.  Do I like that?  No way.  I am scared to be quite honest.  I have no control over this situation.  Which is hard for someone who likes to know what is going on. 

BUT....I have complete hope and trust in the One who does.  I know that in the midst of all that is going on, I can look to and call on the One for whom our hope is in.  The only One who can calm the storm that seems to be raging around me.  I know that only He can calm me.  Only He can provide that lasting, sustaining peace that nothing and no one else can provide.  So why do I even worry when I know the one who brings me peace?  I do not know....I wish I knew.  I wish I could skip the worry stage completely.  I pray one day I will.  For now I am just going to focus on the One who knows my worries and has only His best in mind for me and my family.  I am trying to focus on just listening...listening intently to what His direction is.