Saturday, February 16, 2008

The 1st of 2 good byes...

**Quick update*** Jason has arrived safely in California. Unfortunately where he is there is not a cell phone signal (go figure) So he must wait till late in the evening (late for us because of the time difference) to use the pay phones. The kids are having a really hard day today please keep them in your prayers...they miss their daddy so much.


There has been a little change in our orders (as to be expected). We found out at the end of this week that Jason would be training for 3 weeks, then return home for 1 week before mobilizing to Ft Bragg. This was such GREAT news! An extra week to love on Jason!
We took Jason to the airpot this morning. Our day started sooo early. We were up by 4:00 am and out the door by 10 after 5 (pretty amazing for us). I have had a pretty emotional week and then when we found out about the extra week I thought that would make this good-bye a little easier. I was doing so good emotionally until we got to the airport. Of course Jason had to travel in his uniform and as soon as we got out of the car people would walk up to us and say "Thank you for your service", We're praying for you," and "God Speed." So of course I LOOSE IT! I so did not want to do that, but sometimes I just can not control myself. It is incredible to see the support for our troops! I am so PROUD to be an army wife!
Well we said "good bye." It was not too bad because I know in 3 weeks I will get 1 more week. It's the second good bye that I am not looking forward to.
My sweet bff Aimee stopped by today to check on me and we were talking about trials and suffering. I was telling her I know I can do this, I have to. I just don't want to. I know there is a greater plan in this suffering, much greater than I can even understand. I am so thankful that I am not relying on myself during this journey. I am so greatful that my strength comes from Christ and not me. This journey is not a surprise to Him and even though I get mad and upset that I am going through this again I know He is with me!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

Please continue to pray for our family. I will update on Jason's arrival as soon as he can call.

In closing I will leave you with this to read. (I stole it from another friend/army wife's blog)
*Grab a kleneex*

"Wife of an American Soldier"
I'm the brunette behind you in the store, eyeing the newest Support Our Troops magnet while paging through the latest issue of Glamour. The look on my face is complacent and my thoughts are thousands of miles away on some military base my soldier has only verbally described to me over the phone.I'm the woman in the car beside you with the windows rolled up and the glassy visage only on the road ahead. The radio is set to local stations and song after song reminds me of you: "Letters From Home", "American Soldier", "Far Away", "When Your Gone", etc. Tears well up in my eyes as I imagine you there, all alone.
I'm the woman who visits the Army Wife website at odd hours of the night to find some kind of comfort for that lonesome feeling that has settled in the pit of my stomach. I read blog after blog and realize there are so many of us in the same situation. I'm the woman who has fought an inner battle, trying to accept the path the man I love has chosen. I'm the woman who willingly sacrifices my family, my home, and my career to follow a man clear across the country or world. I'm the woman who never asked for this, but deals with it without complaint.I'm the woman who swells with pride every time I see my Soldier standing tall in his Class As, BDUs, ACUs or DCUs. I'm the one who spots an Army sticker, license plate, or flag and feels a connection with its owner, hoping that maybe I'm not alone in this melancholy situation. I am the woman who sees another soldier in uniform and has to resist the urge to go to him/her and hug them.
I am the woman who tries my hardest to go about my everyday life without him, who hates sleeping alone, and who closes my eyes and pretends that the man I love is laying right there next to me, his arms wrapped around me. I am the woman who tries not to miss him, who tries not to cry whenever I hear his name or even the mention of soldiers. I am the woman who is terrified that the love of my life has been sent off to war.
I am the woman who knows what to do to fix leaky toilets, sew patches on uniforms at midnight because it's needed at 6:00am sharp, coach the little league baseball, soccer, and basketball teams because the Dads have to miss too many practices and games, prepare a picnic for 5 adults and 20 kids at the drop of a hat, organize a neighborhood yard sale, picnic, or Friday Night Fun, take my sons on the overnight Boy Scout camping trip because their Daddy is deployed, and put up Christmas decorations and play Santa alone.I am the woman who sits behind you at the theater or church and tries hard not be jealous that your husband has his arm around you, or leans over as you share a private joke. I know that our time will come and it will be like the first time all over again.
I am the woman who tells their children that their Daddy has gone away to help other children who are hurting. When they ask "Why did he leave us?" I answer with "It's his calling, his purpose in life right now. He is our hero." When they ask "Is he ever coming home?" I say, "Soon."I am many things, a daughter, a cousin, a niece, a mother, a friend.But most importantly, I am the *Wife of an American Soldier.*

6 comments:

Carlton and Aimee Weathers said...

AW Jess...you got me crying. Again. But, hey, my tear ducts have been working overtime lately. I am thanking God that you get sweet, precious time with your hubby in March. I know you don't want to do this...but know this..you CAN do it. God is going to give you the strength you need day by day. Trust Him for the strength and grace you need each day. Don't think about 3 months from now, just praise Him for grace He is going to supply for that day.
I love you, and if you want to go to the movies, I'll put my arm around you and we can laugh at our own personal jokes. :) Thanks for that good read about an Army wife. It was great.
Aimee

Anna said...

I am so thankful you will have one more week together! It is truly a blessing. Thank you for your sacrifice and for posting the Army Wife piece. I am very glad you found this way to put your feelings into words and get them out. I need to come up and we've gotta watch Steel Magnolias!
Love ya,
Anna

pc said...

Jessica, what a blessing you are to our family. You give me strength as I read about your feelings and your friends comments on line. You and Jason are dragging his dad and I into the "blog age". We check this site everytime we go online and I feel so blessed that everyone cares about our family during this time of separation. pc

Briana said...

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I love you guys and will be praying for you throughout. You are strong and I know you will make it through. Unfortunately that doesn't make this time any easier. Please know I'm here if you need me!!! LOVE YOU

Tressie said...

Jess,

Girl, I have no idea how you must be feeling, but I am praying for you and I am so thankful you are trusting in God. He is with you, Jason and the kids every step of the way. I miss you and want you to know that I will pray for peace and safety for you all. If there is anything more I can do (maybe my class to Jason and his unit - we just did that for one of our teacher's son that is in Iraq), please let me know. Call me or write me anytime. Love you!!
Tressie

Tressie said...

Oops - that is supposed to say that maybe my class can send cards....

tressie