I was able to talk to Jason last night for longer than the 2-3 minutes a day we have become accustomed to over the past couple weeks. It was so good to hear his voice. Jason is so homesick and counting the days to March 7 when we can have one more week together. Jason was able to talk a little about the training he is doing and that is when a sickening dose or reality set in for me. Progressively that reality turned into fear. It's unbelievable the thoughts that cross your mind in the quiet darkness of night. That reality led to fear which led to anxiety. Nothing I tried to do on my own brought me comfort. So I cried out to Jesus and He brought me peace that I could not have on my own. But He did not stop there. He continues to reveal Himself to me. As I sat down to have my quiet time today the topic in my daily devotional is on FEAR.
Psalm 56:3 "Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You."
So I studied Psalm 56 today. (It's a prayer for relief from tormentors)
I can not avoid the realities of my husband going to war, I must acknowledge them, but not alone for Christ is always with me. He does not think my fears are foolish. He wants my honesty. And so my honesty He got. Its ok to cry out, seek Him! He knows what I need. When my natural reaction is to panic, I am learning to turn that panic over to Christ and trust Him!
Please pray for my nights, that seems to be the most difficult for me. (thank you Aimee again for your wisdom! I have my scripture cards ready)
I will leave you with this poem that my friend Janet sent me.
"THY WAY IS PERFECT"
Long is the way, and very steep the slope,
Strengthen me once again, O God of Hope.
Far, very far, the summit doth appear;
But Thou art near, my God, but Thou art near.
And Thou wilt give me with my daily food,
Powers of endurance, courage, fortitude.
Thy way is perfect; only let that way
Be clear before my feet from day to day.
Thou art my Portion, saith my soul to Thee,
O what a Portion is my God to me.