Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Fear

I was able to talk to Jason last night for longer than the 2-3 minutes a day we have become accustomed to over the past couple weeks. It was so good to hear his voice. Jason is so homesick and counting the days to March 7 when we can have one more week together. Jason was able to talk a little about the training he is doing and that is when a sickening dose or reality set in for me. Progressively that reality turned into fear. It's unbelievable the thoughts that cross your mind in the quiet darkness of night. That reality led to fear which led to anxiety. Nothing I tried to do on my own brought me comfort. So I cried out to Jesus and He brought me peace that I could not have on my own. But He did not stop there. He continues to reveal Himself to me. As I sat down to have my quiet time today the topic in my daily devotional is on FEAR.
Psalm 56:3 "Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You."
So I studied Psalm 56 today. (It's a prayer for relief from tormentors)
I can not avoid the realities of my husband going to war, I must acknowledge them, but not alone for Christ is always with me. He does not think my fears are foolish. He wants my honesty. And so my honesty He got. Its ok to cry out, seek Him! He knows what I need. When my natural reaction is to panic, I am learning to turn that panic over to Christ and trust Him!
Please pray for my nights, that seems to be the most difficult for me. (thank you Aimee again for your wisdom! I have my scripture cards ready)
I will leave you with this poem that my friend Janet sent me.

"THY WAY IS PERFECT"
Long is the way, and very steep the slope,
Strengthen me once again, O God of Hope.
Far, very far, the summit doth appear;
But Thou art near, my God, but Thou art near.
And Thou wilt give me with my daily food,
Powers of endurance, courage, fortitude.
Thy way is perfect; only let that way
Be clear before my feet from day to day.
Thou art my Portion, saith my soul to Thee,
O what a Portion is my God to me.

5 comments:

White House said...

Amen, and amen. ...my sweet friend

Barb said...

I am praying for you!

Melissa D. said...

Love you girl. Hey. One thing that I did in a time when I was stuggling, I wrote down every feeling that I felt. Because all the negative fears and stuff is the enemy, right? So, I got the Bible and contradicted my feelings. So, if I wrote, I feel tired, God says, he is my strength and he will renew my spirit. If I said, I feel scared, God says he is my peace. And, if you have to stay up all night and repeat those things over and over and over, he will sustain you! I so much admire your faithfulness and God is going to use to touch some people! Hang in there!

Melissa D.

rrrobin said...

Jsscicissica,
I just found out about your blog, thanks to Melissa. I will keep you all in my prayers. You are strong in your faith, and you have seen God's provision many times in the past. He's the same now, and will be tomorrow also!
RDB

Jobetty said...

Hey babe I love your comments
Tonight I went to my bible and read Pslams 56:3 Not only am I so proud of Jason but just as much proud of you sweetheart. I wish so much that I could take the pain away from you and I know that know that you have babies you know that feeling also. I love you more than life itself and I pray to God everyday to guide you and the babies and also Jason until this journey is over.