Friday, June 10, 2011

This Week

This has been a long week...
This has been a busy week...
There have been times this week when I have thought (and said out loud) am I going to make it this week???
I knew I would make it, I knew that God would give me everything I needed to get through this week just as He has been faithful  to do in all the weeks before this.  So what was different about this week?  Nothing.  Why was I letting doubt creep in?  Simply because I was taking my eyes off His faithfulness and instead trying to do it on my own.  I like to be in control...still to this day, I like to have a sense of "I got this" instead of the knowledge (and comfort) that "He has this" 
This week has been filled with lots of preparations for Madeline's upcoming dance recital and Jack's all-stars practices - often both coinciding with each other...which was causing me to choose which child to be with and me feeling terrible for not being able to do both - I know most of you are thinking that's not a big deal, but when one parent is already missing all these events I feel like I need to be there for my children.  I am so thankful for our wonderful family who is filling in so much for me during all this.  What a blessing they have been. 
This week I have been feeling pretty lonely...specifically missing J.  Our 10th wedding anniversary is next week and I have been thinking about how much I wish I could see J on our anniversary.  Thinking about how many anniversaries we have spent apart. Looking at the calendar and noticing we still have xx # of days till R&R and xxx # of days left in this deployment...goodness I can not wait till our family is together again. 
I know R&R will be here soon enough - trust me, we have enough to keep us busy until then :)

I shared this thought on FB this morning: When you come to a place that Christ is all you have, you will find that He is all you need. 
So even when my week is overwhelming, even when my heart is burden for friends who are hurting, even when I am feeling lonely...I know that He is all I need.  I know that these times are meant to move me past my sense of self and instead into a more real and closer relationship to Christ.  These are the times when His character is more real to me.  When His strength is felt.  He is ALL that I need.    



Shelly said...

What beautiful words you wrote, and at a perfect time for me to read them. My husband is away and left me with his sickness before he left. I was struggling to find the patience I needed. I so enjoy coming to your blog for a dose of the reality I need. Thank you for always being so insightful.
I'm sorry your week was difficult, but so glad that you found some peace for your mind and heart.

Holly said...

continued prayers for you sweet lady and HAPPY EARLY anniversary! Our 11th is the 17th....praying for you on the 16th!

Jenifer said...

Praying for you my sweet friend. I hope this special anniversary brings back wonderful memories of the other nine anniversaries and a glimpse of many more happy ones to come....TOGETHER! =)