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Easter...

Maya, Cash, Elizabeth, Noah, and Jackson
Easter 2005


Elizabeth, Noah, Blevin, Cash, and Jackson
Easter 2006


Elizabeth, Jackson, Noah, Hannah Grace, and Cash
Easter 2007


Cash, Jackson, Elizabeth, and Noah
Easter 2008

It is so sweet to look back over the past 4 Easter's and see how much my son and his friends have changed. It goes by so fast. Shouldn't they all still be babies? Oh, I know I am not the 1st mommy to think this way, so I will quit reflecting.

Easter is such a sweet time. A time to reflect on the ultimate price that Jesus paid for me. A sinner who is so undeserving of such a gift! There is nothing i have done or could ever do to earn it and I certainly do not deserve it, but it has been given. WOW! What a gift! GRACE!

Last week during my bible study times with Jackson I tried (tried being the key word here) to discuss with Jackson the true meaning of Easter. Most of the time he wanted to "race", but sometimes he would respond (or just repeat what I told him) I thought I will just keep at it and maybe he'll catch something I've said. Well, we went to one Easter egg hunt and saw the Easter bunny and from then on Easter is about hunting eggs with prizes in them and seeing bunnies. One time! That's all it took. Ok, so maybe I am expecting way too much out of him. He's only 3 1/2 and far from an age of understanding. So I quickly reminded him of the true meaning of Easter-that we celebrate not for chocolate or candy-filled baskets, but for the ultimate price Jesus paid on the cross to wash away our sins so that we may spend eternity with Him.

So what am I learning? That training a child in the way of the Lord is not easy. It is time consuming. But it is so worth every minute of it! What could be more important?

Easter was hard. It was our 1st Holiday (of many more to come) without Jason. We missed him a lot, but find comfort in knowing that a 15 month deployment is nothing compared to eternity. I continue to cling to God's word-it is really the only thing I find comfort in. I am so greatful I have it. I continue to pray for God to strengthen me, to use this time a part to strengthen my marriage, for God to grow me in this journey, but ultimately for God to be glorified.

Jason is still in Ft. Bragg. He is busy with training. He has been doing land navigation, getting shots, and today went through the gas chamber. He said he did have a stuffy nose, but after the gas chamber his head is completely cleared out. (I think I will just stick to OTC meds) There is a possibility Jason will get a 4 day pass. We are just waiting on a confirmation on the dates.

Enjoy the pictures of how our babies have grown over the past 4 Easters ;)
I am trying to put a slide show on of our Easter pictures so be looking for it.

Jessica

I am back...

Sorry for the brief hiatus from blogging. To be perfectly honest things have seemed unbearable lately. I miss Jason so much. I am so lonely. It takes every ounce of energy I have to get out of bed. But I have to since I have 2 kids to take care of. I have really been trying to keep things as normal as possible for them and keep them in a routine. Routine is good for all 3 of us. I feel at war inside myself. Its like I want to leave the house everyday to keep us occupied and take my mind off the fact that Jason is not here, yet I don't want to leave. When we do leave, it is so hard to come back home to an empty house. I cringe pulling in the driveway to see Jason's car knowing he is not inside. The other day I was on my way home from the grocery store and out of habit I picked up my cell phone to call home and tell Jason I was on my way so he could help me unload the car. As I dialed the number it hit me...he is not there (and it hit like a ton a bricks!) Those little moments are so hard. The fear and anxiety are still around. I know I am just wasting my energy on worry and fear, but at times it is just so overwhelming. So I am really trying to keep myself in God's word and rest in the comfort I am finding there. Philippians 4:6 says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Worry and fear are counterproductive. Worrying about things beyond my control is a lack of trust in God's power and a lack of trust in His sovereignty. When the fears creep in, I am turning them over to Christ-asking Him to take the fears away. And I am firmly believing it happens because Philippians 4:7 goes on to say "And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I am praying for that peace, that tranquillity which comes only when I fully commit all the fear and worry to God. I am so thankful that Christ has chosen me for this journey yet again and I know that He alone will give me the strength each day (sometimes each minute) to continue on. I am praying for God to keep watch over/guard my thoughts, fears, worries, and anxiety.

Jason has arrived to his mobilization station at Ft. Bragg, NC. He is busy in briefings, but calls every chance he gets. He is missing the comforts of home. He said they are staying in old WWII barracks-(I can only imagine) We are not sure how long Jason will be in Ft. Bragg before heading over in support of OIF, but we pray that we are able to travel there to see him before he leaves.

Thank you for continuing to check the blog and giving me an outlet to share my thoughts and feelings about this journey. I really enjoy reading your comments ;) I hope you enjoy the picture of my favorite 3 people in the whole world! This was the night before Jason left. We had a farewell dinner at Top O The River. The kids t-shirts said I love my soldier daddy. (They have another one that says My daddy is my hero -with an American flag on it)
Jessica

A Hero's Lunch

There was a Farewell Ceremony in Tampa today for the deploying soldiers. I am including some pictures from it as well as a link to the news story. We were not able to attend this ceremony since it was in Tampa, but hope to see Jason while he is in Ft. Bragg. In the group picture Jason is on the front row just to the right of the center. The other picture is the back of Jason's head. Jason said it was a great lunch. It makes me so proud that these soldiers were treated to such a wonderful meal before they leave. Enjoy the pictures and clink on the link to see the news story (you may have to right click on the address and paste it then double click the video to start the video)YOu can see all the pictures at myfoxtampabay.com (this site will allow you to see them larger than here on the blog)










http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=6055581&version=1&locale=EN-US

I miss him so much...

Hi everyone.
Just a quick update to let you know that Jason left out at 4 am yesterday (Sat) It was a very emotional good-bye, but we are so thankful that we had last week to enjoy. I found this video on Youtube and wanted to share it with everyone. I am working on a post for the blog and hope to have it up soon. Please bare with me...

Here is another picture of Jason training in California. He said this was a lot of fun...I will take his word for it ;)

Enjoy the new pictures...

Hello everyone!
We've been having such a wonderful week spoiling Jason! I have even managed to get him to accomplish a few things on his honey do list ;) This week is just going by way too fast, but I am just trying my best to enjoy every single minute we have and not focus on Saturday (or the next 15 months) I put up some new photos of Jason training in California, preparing our "USA" sign for the farewell, and Jason with the kids. My favorite picture is Jason carrying both kids in the new backpack (do you think this is what army gear is used for?)
Jason leaves this Saturday very early. Please pray for us. This is going to be so difficult, but I know that God will give us strength. I will post more soon...

Finally home...

Jason finally arrived last night after 30+ hours stranded in the DFW airport thanks to this crazy weather we are having. The kids were so excited last night when they saw their daddy walking up. It was priceless! Jason is trying to catch up on sleep, but the kids are not having it. ;) We are off to play in the snow before it melts.
Will write again soon...
Jessica

Yet Another Change...

One thing I am learning is to be flexible and change is certain...well Jason should be home with us right now, but due to circumstances beyond our control he is stranded at the airport. His original flight was cancelled, then he was placed on stand-by for another flight only for it to be cancelled as well. As of right now he is on stand-by for a flight tomorrow, but should be home by tomorrow evening. Please pray for Jason and the other soldiers who are stranded at the airport.

Change in plans...

Just a quick note to let you know that Jason is on his way home ;) (Yippee a day early!) We are so excited and extremely greatful that God is giving us an extra day together! Please pray for safe traveling. I will post more soon...

Oh how I miss 5 o'clock...

Anyone with children knows what I mean by this statement right? 5 o'clock means daddy is home! (or at least on his way) I use to think if I can just make it (in one piece) to 5 o'clock then Jason will be home to rescue me. We would be a sort of "tag team" in our little world of mostly fun sometimes chaos. Oh how I miss my "tag" partner! But as I think about this, it gives me a new appreciation for the wonderful man Jason is. He is gone all day working to provide for this family so I can stay home, then to come home and help (Ok who am I kidding it's not help it's work with 2 toddlers) ;) It's the little things I miss - help with dinner, bathtime, bedtime etc...I have been struggling with the "single" parenting and at times in my saddness over my current journey I realize I am not thankful for everything. Sunday at church we sang "Blessed Be Your Name". I have sung this song countless times, but this time 1 verse really struck me...
Blessed be Your name when the sun's shinning down on me
When the world's all as it should be blessed be Your name.
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering blessed be Your name.
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise.
And when the darkness closes in, Lord still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be the name.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be His glorious name.
It is so easy to praise God when all is right in our lives and everything is as it should be, but do I praise Him in my suffering? No, not usually. Am I giving Him thanks for this journey? No, not usually. I have been convicted about this. So my prayer is to be thankful in everything and know that God in His providence orchestrated everything and every event in life (the good and the bad). My desire is to trust and pray that God will change me. Only God can change me to do His work.
2Cor. 3:4-5 "And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from oursleves, but our sufficiency is from God."

All is well at the Crow house. We survived the stomach virus and trying to get back in a routine. Jack and I went to visit his new preschool (thanks Jenn for keeping Madeline and the happy's) We went this morning and registered him. I can not believe my little boy will be in preschool! I managed to go to Cottontail's village this past weekend twice and got some clothes for the big NY trip! (thanks to my wonderful mom and Mrs. Crow and a big thanks to Mr Crow and Zach for watching the kids so I could shop in quietness) Jason is so busy training. Last night when I talked to him at 9:30 he was still "in class". I pray that he is able to rest. We are so ready for Friday! We are going to spoil Jason!

I will write again soon.
Jessica