Thursday, January 21, 2010

Playing At The Park and A Little Of This and That

This week we have really had some great weather! I mean mid-60 degree weather in much better can it get really???

With all this wonderful weather, we have been to the park a couple times this week. No sense staying inside when the weather is this good huh?

Below are some pictures of our park adventures:

Madeline playing in the rocks...I mean a whole playground full of stuff to play on and of course she is playing in the rocks =)

And look where Jack is as the rocks. =)

The kids met a new friend at the park. His name is also Jack. Wouldn't you know that the kids convinced him to play in the rocks and dirt??? I hope his mommy did not mind.

Jack and Madi pretending to fish in the little stream at the funny are they???

Now for the "This and That"

I don't have anything new to report on the deployment status...nothing new as far as news goes, but the reality of it still lingers around like a bad smell that will not go away...ok maybe it is not with me constantly but it hits me at odd times. Like at night when everyone has gone to bed. When I am driving. When Jason and I start making plans and realize...oh yea, he may not be here. Just passing thoughts that can consume me if I am not careful.
Everytime the phone rings and the caller ID shows a number for the reserve center (which has been often this week) my heart sinks and I get that feeling in my stomach like I am going to be sick. When we get those calls, I think ok this is it...this is the call that is going to have our information. But so far it has not been.

Jason is having to attend some training this weekend for reintergrating back into society after a deployment...yea...ironic huh? He is being required to sit through this when he is likely deploying again later this year. It stinks...we wish we could be there with him. This morning we (the kids and I) took Jason to the airport. On the way there, Jason and I were talking about how weird it felt that it (driving to the airport) reminded us of the last time we took him to the airport (which of course was when he deployed) Even though we know this is NOTHING like that, it still reminded us of that morning and those AWFUL feelings. Like I said, it just hits at odd times. It was good for me to have him to talk to about it as well as to be able to listen to his thoughts about it. We have been preparing the kids for this and they were so excited to go to the airport and see the big planes. =) They did great! Of course it helped that Jason promised to bring them home prizes...goodness me like they need anything. So we got Jason off and watched the planes for a bit. Then it came...MELTDOWN...I had been preparing myself for it because I knew it would happen. I however was shocked...I was preparing for the meltdown to be from Jack, but it was Madeline. She cried all the way to the car. Crying "I want my daddy, you can not leave my daddy here! Go get my daddy" She said this over and over. She remembers the last time we were in that airport what happened and I guess in her mind this was the same. I tried my best to comfort her and remind her that daddy will be home VERY did not help...nope...she cried...called for her daddy the whole drive home...I mean over an hour of heart was breaking and my nerves, well they were on edge. She finally quit. Turned it off like nothing had ever happened...I can laugh about it now, but it was so not funny at the moment. So all was right with Madeline when came the next blow. Jack came to me and said "mommy I can not get control of myself" Not sure that I was hearing him correctly, I said "what did you say buddy?" and he repeated "mommy I can not get control of myself" this time with tears in his eyes. Break. My. Heart. As I comforted him, he shared that he missed his daddy and did not like leaving him at the airport. I talked with Jack for a while and explained to him that I missed daddy too but he would be home very soon. I assured him that this was NOTHING like the last time daddy went to the airport. He finally calmed down and so far all is well with the kids. They have talked to daddy on the phone a few times and I treated them to a special lunch. You just never know how these things are going to go...this is new territory for me...lesson can not handle taking daddy to the airport.

Wow...this is turning out to be a really long post...but I did want to share a prayer with you that a very special friend shared with me. It is called 'God Enjoyed' and it is a prayer from the book "Valley of Vision" (FYI~if you do not have this book of Puritan prayers, I highly recommend it) So here it is...and thank you Tamara for sharing this jewel with me!


Thou Incomprehensible
But Prayer Hearing God,

Known, but beyond knowledge,
revealed, but unrevealed,
my wants and welfare draw me to Thee,
for Thou hast never said, 'Seek ye Me in vain'.
To Thee I come in my difficulties, necessities,
posesses me with Thyself,
with a spirit of grace and supplication,
with a prayerful attitude of mind,
with access into warmth of fellowship,
so that, in the ordinary concerns of life
my thoughts and desires may rise to Thee,
and in habitual devotion I may find a resource
that will soothe my sorrows,
sanctify my successes,
and qualify me in all ways for dealings
with my fellow men.

I bless Thee that Thou hast made me capable
of knowing Thee, the author of all being,
of resembling Thee, the perfection of all excellency,
of enjoying Thee, the source of all happiness.
O God, attend me in every part of my arduous
and trying pilgrimage;
I need the same counsel, defence, comfort
I found at my beginning.
Let my religion be more obvious to my conscience,
more perceptible to those around.
While Jesus is representing me in heaven,
may I reflect Him on earth,
While He pleads my cause, may I show forth
His praise.

Continue the gentleness of Thy goodness
towards me,
And whether I wake or sleep, let Thy presence
go with me,
Thy blessing attend me.
Thou hast led me on and I have found Thy
promises true,
I have been sorrowful, but Thou hast been my help,
fearful, but Thou hast delivered me,
despairing, but Thou has lifted me up.
Thy vows are ever upon me,
And I praise thee, O God.



Nancy said...

I think you handle every situation just exactly how I would hope to. You are stronger than you know, Jessica. I'm praying for the 4 of you & I will come to Anniston soon & visit with you...(not that it would make this go away! HA!) I am here for you anytime you need to vent!!

Crystal said...

Jessica, I just want you to know that I think about your family and what Jason does for us all of the time. It's amazing how much your family has sacrificed for "us" and we do appreciate it. It takes special people to be able to survive through these deployments. I hope you will get dates soon so that you can prepare yourself as well as the children. I won't pretend to imagine how hard it is, but I wish your family the best and would do anything to help out. :)