Sometimes that thought crosses my mind and I just have to laugh. I got an email from a friend that was celebrating that I made it through another week. Pretty amazing considering there are times when I think "Am I going to make it through lunch?" Take for example, I took my kids shopping Friday so I could get a cocktail dress for Paula's Party. It took 3 adults, 2 bags of goldfish, a pack of crackers and several rides on the carousel to "occupy" them so I could try on dresses. What was I thinking??? One positive thing did come out of it...I got a dress! (now I just can not eat until the taping so I can be sure to fit into it)
I also have a new "list" That is a list of places we can not go to for at least 6 months in hopes they will not remember our faces :) Sunday I thought I would take the kids to Lowes and we would scope out the flowers and play on the tractors (Jack's favorite thing to do) Afterwards I thought lets eat at McD's and play on the playground. (What was I thinking??? That I just cleaned the house and wanted it to remain clean thru the evening at least) Well after 3 (yep 3) full cups spilt, countless bits of food to pick up off the floor, and 2 screaming kids who would not get out of the tunnel we left. (as I was leaving and apologizing for the
3rd spill I asked them to wait to cuss me until I got out the door) So McD's goes
1st on the list. The #2 spot occurred yesterday. We met some friend's for lunch at Wendy's (again just me and the kids - what was I thinking? had I not learned my lesson yet?) My kids left a mess as bad as a tornado (and they were as loud as one) My friend tells me "People are staring with 'that look'" Oh we all know "that look" don't we? That "my kids would never do that" look. Oh I've given it before, now I am the recipient of it. (OUCH!) So Wendy's is now on the list. In light of this we will remain at home today (and the next time I see a mommy alone and having a hard time I'll offer my help or a friendly smile instead of "the look")
Things are getting into more of a routine around here which is good. We have been able to use Skype to see and talk to Jason. He is still busy training in Ft. Bragg. Looks like he will get a 4 day pass soon. He is going to come home (easier than me traveling with the kids) We miss him so much and are looking forward to seeing him for 4 days (even though I am not looking forward to saying good bye again)
I continue to keep myself in God's word. I find Him revealing Himself to me more and more everyday through the truths in His word. I am learning that this journey is not for me to decide. A Christian life is not guaranteed to be a life free from pain, suffering, anxiety. BUT God's grace is sufficient and He supplies me with all I need to get through the day.
Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning, Great is thy faithfulness.
God's mercy is His love for us. No matter how difficult things may seem, God's love is always surrounding us. My needs will be provided for if I trust God and leave my anxieties and burdens with Him.